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JK

1/6/2017

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Night and day. It’s an expression we often use to illustrate stark contrast. For me I strongly felt this contrast from Thursday night when I left the hospital and Friday morning when I returned. Even my 4:30 a.m. attitude and musings differed vastly from those just 4 hours later when I found Laurent’s sitting up at the edge of his hospital bed and he responded to my question of “What are you doing?” with a full sentence, “I eat breakfast.” I did not care whether or not it was grammatically correct or if the verb was conjugated accurately for the past tense. I was simply elated that he had indeed completed a sentence! I had not heard a complete sentence for 2 full days from this man! I began to pepper him with questions to see just how far his new-found communication skills extended.
“What did you eat?”
“I eat fruit.” Marvelous! Another sentence.
“What else?”
“I eat….” A pause. I waited , holding g my breath. Would this be the end of his speech abilities? I tried a backup strategy that had failed on Wednesday.
“Can you draw a picture of it?” I asked while holding out a pencil and paper I had brought just for this purpose today. He took the pencil, thought for a moment, and drew two triangles for me. I peeked at the menu and saw French Toast and asked him if that was what he ate. He replied affirmatively and repeated, “I eat french toast.” We were on a roll!
Next he pointed at a covered bowl and simply said “Yuck” while making a noticeably displeased face. Taking advantage of another skill I wanted to probe today, I picked up the menu and asked him to read it and tell me which item he found to be yucky. Rapidly he began reading out loud each of the items and then iNcoated the oatmeal was yucky. Now I knew he could read for information and he could translate that reading into expressive speech. This was fabulous progress!

I showed him the communication board I had printed off at home with words and pictures of common things he might need to say in a hospital. He read through it and told me several things he needed to do, including take a shower. I wholeheartedly agreed since it had been 3 days since his last shower. I noted his new ability to express personal needs and kept probing. Over the next hour he was able to shower independently and chat with the male nurse assigned to care for him today about his scrubs and Nike shoes. The nurse had read notes in his chart about Laurent’s expressive aphasia but was as pleasantly surprised about his speech as we were.

It was if major parts of Laurent’s brain had been unplugged for 2 days and we’re now reconnected! Those sections involving nouns, initiation, motivation, and even independent movement that lay dormant for. That time suddenly awoke. Like the song Wick from the Secret Garden they must have been waiting for the right time to re-emerge. I felt just as much delight in hearing l speak and seeing his bubbly personality return as I do when I see the first crocus break through the snow in Spring. Amazing!
Night and day. At 4:30 am I had resolved that we were in this for the long haul and I was determined to conquer this once more. I felt somber yet resolute. By 9:00 a.m. I could barely contain my joy and hope! This is how I imagined Abraham felt when asked to sacrifice his only son Isaac. I’m guessing he too was somber and yet resolved to follow God’s command and submit his will to a Higher Power. I’m fairly certain I can also feel the joy and relief at finding the ram in the thicket and being told he didn’t have to go through with it. In the terms of teenagers today, it was if I was being told, “JK!” (Just kidding). “You don’t really have to go through it either.”

​As I write this at 10:30 p.m., I am so grateful it was a JK. For whatever reason, we were remindeed of the darkness of night and the deficits associated with brain injuries and then gI enjoy
the beautiful gift of relief and renewal. I don’t know how his brain was plugged back in. I don’t believe the doctors are certain either. Howeve, it just confirms to us the importance of hope and faith.

Laurent is home now. He was discharged this evening. We have several things to watch and follow up on over the next few weeks. However, he is home. We love his smile and cheerful personality. We empathize with those who remain in night a lot longer and pray for the renewing light of dawn for them and their families.. Thank you to all who helped at home and at the hospital. We appreciate your positive thoughts and faith-filled prayers. God bless you for your kindness ad service.


Love,
Kerrie and Laurent Neu

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The Tag

1/5/2017

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Picture
I am normally not a hash tag user on social media. I'm not opposed to them. I just don't usually use them. This morning, however, as I created an entry on yesterday's events in a journaling app called "Journey", I remembered I could add a tag to group the entries under a similar topic. I began to do so and suddenly halted as I had no idea what to tag this experience. Previous experiences were always labeled "The Accident", and we just knew it referred to anything related to July 4, 1998. However I am stumped as to what to call this one. It’s not " The Stroke" or "The Fall". There’s no aneurism or car wreck. As I don't have a cause yet to his expressive speech loss and cognitive impairments, I don’t have a label.

So then I began to think of other terms I could call this. At first words like "The Setback" came to mind. However, we've been down this road before and I refuse to use a negative term to define us right now. We need something more inspiring to keep us going. "The setback" implies defeat and I need one that will help us overcome. I then scrapped that idea and kept searching.

​A vision of the childhood game Chutes and Ladders popped into my head. This certainly was not a ladder, but more of a chute sending us back to a previous state of being. However, calling this whole experience "The Chute" doesn’t seem to work. I'll just have to keep thinking.

Next my Sci-Fi brain thought of time travel shows in which the characters live in an alternate time continuum for the episode. Sometimes they are thrown there in a wormhole. "Yes", I thought. We could tag this "The Wormhole". One moment we celebrated New Years Day with family playing games, singing, and laughing - and the next we were transported back to the world of hospitals, medical tests, and therapies. The challenge then would be to find the opening of another wormhole that leads back to the old life and skills. However, I know that wishing for our old lives back is not productive and wastes valuable mental energy. I've been there and done that. It didn’t work. What worked was rolling up our sleeves and digging in to make the most of the new situation and trusting in a God who loves me and would help me through this experience. There is no magic wormhole that will take me back and magically end this sci-fi episode in 47 minutes. We are more like the crew of the starship Voyager, who were thrown 75,000 light years from home and had to brave the journey back home with courage, determination, and ingenuity. I could call this "The Voyage" and try to apply the same principles on our own journey, but perhaps only my Trekkie friends would appreciate the tag.

That puts me back at the drawing board looking for a tag for what lies ahead. Brene Brown says there is power in identifying and writing our own story. Each story, she says, has 3 acts. I thought we had made it through the first two acts and were enjoying the experiences of the third. In fact, in my own private writings I've been laying out pieces of his book for our children and calling it "How Can I Keep From Singing?" It chronicles his journey from motorcycle accident to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, culminating with performances in Carnegie Hall and Europe. Maybe we have begun Book 2, "The Sequel" and are sitting now on the edge of a new 3 act story. We are experiencing the opening event and now we get to write the rest. The first book covered 18 years. Who knows how long the second one will take. I only pray I am up to this arduous task. I know I have the help of family and friends. They've been there for me before and are currently by my side again. Most importantly, I believe in a Higher Power, a Divine Author, a loving Heavenly Father and His Son, who do know the end and will guide me through it. I'm sure it will be a tale of heartache and struggle, but probably it will also chronicle personal growth and ultimately victory. It has to.

I've found my tag. We'll call this Book 2 and see where the story takes us.



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Deja Vu

1/5/2017

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My son loves the Farming Game, a simulation board game created by a farmer from Washington. When we recently played it, several players kept getting Farmers Fate cards that sent them back to the 2nd week of January to replay a part of the game. We'll, this week I feel like we drew one of those Farmers Fate card and have been transported back about 18 years to about the 6th week after Laurent's accident and brain injury. On Wednesday January 4th Laurent went to the doctor to follow up on a cough and ended up being transported by ambulance to the Intermountain Medical Center. His heart was in afib and he was experiencing speech and cognitive issues. By nightfall two attempts to shock his heart back in to normal rhythm failed and they started medication. They kept him overnight for a consultation with a neurologist in the morning. Today his heart is more normal and they've run several tests to try to locate the source of the speech and cognitive deficits. An MRI ruled out a stroke of new damage to the brain. Blood tests ruled out pneumonia. Next they are going to check for seizure activity. Right now we have more questions than answers as to why he appears to have lost the ground he gained in speech over this last decade. It's a déjà-vu I had hoped to never experience again. Gratefully we are once again feeling the love and support of family, friends, neighbors, and church family who have been caring for our family the last 36 hours. I will let you know as we find out more information. For now, I wanted to share a quick video with you. As you know, music was a a critical part of Laurent's healing the first time around. We've already seen its influence the 2nd time around. Last night he was agitated until we found some music and he calmed right down and went to sleep. Today I brought in a music player. When the track came on of him singing "There is a Balm in Gilead " he began to sing along. How grateful I was to hear him sing again! It may not be his full voice, but that incredibly important gift is still there. We may not know what all lies ahead in his road, but you can bet that music will continue to play an important part.
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    Laurent and Kerrie Neu love sharing music with others. It's such a blessing to be able to interact with people through music.

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